Six Months Encapsulated...

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father, will you turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me...
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

So many questions without answers, but your promises remain.
I can't sleep, but I'll take my chances to hear you call my name...
To hear You call my name.

One tear in the driving rain, One voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.



** Songwriters: Mike Donehey, Phillip Larue, Jason Ingram

Like a Sweet Sunset in Georgia, Let it Go...

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.  ~Oscar Wilde

"You keep your heart above your head and your eyes wide open
So this world can't find a way to leave you cold
And know you're not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can't...
You gotta let it go.
Like a sweet sunset in Georgia, let it go.
Like the fear that grabs ahold ya, let it go.
Let it go." -- Zac Brown Band

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I Timothy 6:6-8, 11
But godliness with contentment is great gain.
For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.
But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 
But you, man of God [...] pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
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One Pair of Eyes

The Luckiest

-- Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time

In fact, I am told that a lot

Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls

Brought me here

And where was I before the day

That I first saw your lovely face?

Now I see it everyday

And I know

That I am

The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you

In a house on a street where you lived?

Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike

Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes

I see one pair that I recognize

And I know

That I am

The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties

And one day passed away in his sleep

And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days

And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong

That I know

That I am

The luckiest

Pretty Little Lies

The other night, I was doing the dishes and found myself singing this song from Pinocchio -- do you remember it?  So pretty and so sweet... and so full of ridiculousness. Here are the oh-so-pretty lyrics, for your grown-up cynical enjoyment.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you...


If your heart is in your dreams
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
 As dreamers do...


Fate is kind;
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of 
Their secret longing...


Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true.


Oh, Jiminy Cricket.  You told us such pretty little lies.  :)

And because I can't help myself, here is the great Louis Armstrong singing "When You Wish Upon a Star."  Because although the idea of wishing something into existence might be ludicrous, the beauty and magic of childhood dreams are not.  I hope 2012 is a year when many, many of your dreams come true :)

The Other Side of Me

The Other Side of Me
sung by Michael W. Smith
------------------------------------------------------------
If they were to write about the story of my life,
They would have to mention you with every page they'd write.
There's another side to every story told.

If I were the ocean, you would be the shore.
One without the other one would be needing something more;
we are the shadow and the light.

Always love me
Never leave me now
Now you are
the other side of me

I have known the emptiness of feeling out of touch,
and living life without you here would be living half as much.
'Cause I've a need that only you could fill.

If love was mathematical, you'd understand the sum
To the heart's equation where one and one makes one
and lonely equals me minus you.

Always love me
Never leave me now
Now you are
the other side of me

You Don't Bring Me Flowers...

I've had this old song running through my head all morning, and just found it on youtube, so of course I had to post it.  I think my favorite line in this song is "but used-to-be's don't count anymore / they just lay on the floor / till we sweep them away." 

You don’t bring me flowers;

You don’t sing me love songs.

You hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through the door

At the end of the day...

I remember when

You couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now,  after loving me late at night
When it's good for you, babe
And you're feeling all right
Well,  you just roll over and turn out the light...

And you don’t bring me flowers anymore.

It used to be so natural

To talk about forever

But used-to-be’s  don’t count anymore
They just lay on the floor
‘Till we sweep them away.

Baby, I remember all the things you taught me.

I learned how to laugh and I learned how to cry.
Well, I learned how to love and I learned how to lie.
So, you’d think I could learn how to tell you

goodbye.

You don’t bring me flowers anymore.

You don’t say you need me…

You don’t sing me love songs…

You don’t bring me flowers anymore.

It Was Not a Silent Night

This morning, a colleague of mine was in charge of chapel, and one of the songs he played was this one -- "Labor of Love," by Andrew Peterson.  The holiday season hasn't really begun, and already I can feel myself getting busier and busier, focusing on things and dates and deadlines and prices instead of quieting my heart and focusing on being thankful for what Christmas allows me to remember about my Savior...


There are a thousand Christmas songs, but this one touched my heart this morning.  I am attaching the youtube video, as well as the lyrics, so that you can hear the beautiful vocal talent of Jill Phillips, but I'm not a huge fan of the actual images in the video -- I don't know that they coalesce the way I'd like them to with the lyrics.  I suggest playing the video so you can HEAR, but I would read the lyrics while listening, rather than watching the video.  Enjoy the vulnerability and beauty of this song.

"Labor of Love" 
-- written by Andrew Peterson, sung by Jill Phillips

It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David's town

And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother's hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Callused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
In the streets of David's town
In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love

My Love Affair with Nat...

If I was told I could only listen to one artist for the rest of my life, it would take me approximately .09 seconds to ask for Nat.  When I was a little girl, my sisters and I would listen to his Christmas album in our basement in the middle of July. Even if it was 95 degrees outside and we wore bathing suits and sunburns, hearing one song from that album would inspire us to tell my mom the basement "smelled" like Christmas.  In college, Nat King Cole introduced me to an era of music that felt immediately like home to my old soul.  Here is Johnny Mercer's "Autumn Leaves," sung by (if the link on the title will work) the velvet genius of the one and only Nat King Cole.  It is, in my opinion, the perfect synthesis of emotion, lyric and melody.

Autumn Leaves

Lyrics by Johnny Mercer, Music by Joseph Kosma

The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

October Eyes

It's October -- my favorite month :) 

One day a thousand years ago, I heard a song titled "Girl with the October Eyes" and today, while I was walking across campus, I thought of Allen Levi's song again.  I remember hearing this song in college and liking it, but when I googled the phrase "girl with the October eyes" this afternoon and read the lyrics for the first time in almost a decade... well, let's just say that I FELT this song in a way I couldn't possibly have when I was nineteen years old.  Levi is a beautiful guitarist; I wish I could capture his sound as well as his lyrics. Enjoy. 


"October Eyes" by Allen Levi

A box full of letters from over the years
Colorful cards from the past
Postmarks from places and days far away
A time to sort through them at last

Dulcimer music, a chair by the fire
A dark, rainy December day
I'll visit with friends through their handwritten words
Then reluctantly throw them away
'Til the one that I found
From the girl with the October eyes

In the picture the sky was cloudless and blue
She had that old laugh in her eyes
Blue jeans and flannel and braids that I knew
Like an angel dressed up in disguise

Last time I heard, she was far from the South
She's married with children, I'm told
But here there's a college girl, smile on her mouth
A smile that has never grown old
On that face that I've found
Of the girl with the October eyes

Do I save this letter or throw it away?
Save the warm smile for a cold rainy day?
Bury the memory, or let it remain?
Do I feed the fire with this long-ago flame?

Sweet reminiscence of a day way back when
I catch myself smile at her face
I'm sure that in ways we were children back then
But still it was quite a nice place

There's a girl in a baseball cap looking my way
Over a decade it's been
For a moment the memory comes back to life
And I think I hear laughter again
As I take one last look
At the girl with the October eyes