Six Months Encapsulated...

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father, will you turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me...
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

So many questions without answers, but your promises remain.
I can't sleep, but I'll take my chances to hear you call my name...
To hear You call my name.

One tear in the driving rain, One voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.



** Songwriters: Mike Donehey, Phillip Larue, Jason Ingram

Dreaming of the Seashore...

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.
~e.e. cummings

Last Christmas, my parents bought my sisters and me a week at the beach! We don't go until August, but I can hardly wait.  I wish I could spend every summer at the seashore...

Some of my favorite recent beach memories:

Several years ago, Sister A and I took my niece to the beach for the first time.  She loved it.  Precious little one...

Last summer, my best girl friends and I went to Hilton Head for the weekend -- we had an elaborate set-up on the sand.  In retrospect, we were far too far away from the water, haha, but it was still tons of fun. :)

...and so it's a good thing I don't have kids.

We started the weekend well -- with popcorn and a movie: Megamind.  I'd never seen it, but Faith had, so she made sure to tell me what was going to happen as it was happening.  "and this is when Megamind THINKS he killed..." hahaha -- it was lots of fun. 

Finally I get her to bed.  It is 11:30.  This is troubling, but I secretly think that she'll sleep in the next morning, so there is an internal justifying of the late hour bedtime. 

Light woke me at 6:32 am.  When I stumbled into Faith's room, she was reading a book and my croaky, "Faith! What are you doing up -- it's still the middle of the night!" did not seem to sway her back to sleep.  I went back to sleep, though, and got a blissful 40 minutes before I heard "Auntie Ro, can I watch a movie?" I trundled out to the living room, set up the dvd, and went back to bed for another hour.  I mean, wow.   That girl got like 6 hours of sleep, max.  Cuh. Razy.

 When I finally got UP around 8 am, we sloshed through the rain and wind in our pj's to get our donut holes.  Then we came back and watched a movie all morning -- good times, good times. 

My plan was to get us both ready and out the door in time for lunch and then the show at SWU at 2.  I forgot that an eight-year-old doesn't always understand the importance of the "plan." We got out the door, barely in time to make it to SWU, and I'm ashamed -- so ashamed -- to confess to you that I COMPLETELY forgot two things:

1. Someone didn't remember to "do" her niece's hair.

2. Someone also didn't remember to ask her niece to brush her teeth. 

We made it to the play, but without an official lunch, I am ashamed to say.  I am further ashamed that I tried to placate the lunch situation with a zaxby's drive-through, but someone didn't want chicken; they just wanted fries.  Sigh.  So here's the day so far:

Unbrushed hair.  Unbrushed teeth.  French fries for lunch.

So far, Auntie Ro is an EPIC FAIL as a substitute mom.  I freely admit this :)

Because of my epic fail with lunch, little girl made it through the first act, but we had to ditch the second because of grumpy, grumpy hunger-pants.  I would judge, but I can't.  My sisters know how grumpy I am until I'm fed.  It's rather shocking.  So...

I suggested a slice of pizza.  We ended up with cheesy sticks. Considering that her mother specifically asked me to try to keep this weekend healthy... well, the Epic Fails continue.  Forgive me, sister A. 

Potentially, I may have also introduced her to garlic butter sauce, which she'd never heard of before.  <insert apology here>

Niece-a-kiss fell asleep in the car on the way home.  Now she's had her bath, is in her pj's, and we are about to make tacos at home.  I am going to attempt a lettuce-tomato seduction, but she's already warned me that she likes her tacos with "JUST meat and cheese. That's all."  We shall see...

The Happiest Millionaire

"I've been bit on my finger.
It could have been my leg.
It could have been my head; I might have died."

Sister A left this THM quote on my facebook wall last night.  And every time I've thought about this movie, I've had to smile today.  I love how my sisters can say one phrase -- one well-placed, inside joke from childhood -- and my whole day is made. 

If you've never seen Fred McMurray play an eccentric millionaire treasurig his pet alligators and going on chocolate cake diets, you must.  The entire thing is, to sound like my mother, "a hoot."  

"What's wrong with that?  What's wrong with that? My family rushing to my side -- what's wrong with that?"

Careful of the Icy Patch

The fact that someone on youtube made a montage of "the icy patch" clips from Muppet Family Christmas absolutely MADE MY DAY :)

Here's to family, old movie memories, and being careful of The Icy Patch!

Contentment

I may not be in love.  I may not be anyone's Mommy.  I may not drive the flashiest car, live in the nicest part of town, go on luxury vacations, or have the metabolism of a 15 year old gymnast :)  I may, despite my best efforts, hurt people I love.  I may struggle with "letting go" -- I may forgive "too easily" (for you, A). 

I may get bossy when around my sisters; I may laugh too loudly at crass jokes and secretly feed the cat that hangs out in my parents' front yard (even though my Mom has "expressly forbidden" the feeding of stray cats).  I may cry at movies at which no one else cries (for you, C).

I may not look the way I'd like or act the way I should or be as strong as I dream of being. I may fight when I should flee, flee when I should fight, and leave best friends in awkward situations to fend for themselves (ask Jiggers about the walmart trip in college). 

But tonight, I'm just so extremely thankful -- for this abundant, merciful, and love-filled life I've been given.  I am not deserving.  If only I could give this day to someone who didn't have a good day today.  I wish I could wrap up the comfort found in a loving family, a cheerful home and a deep sense of belonging and gift it to someone who doesn't have any of those things. 

If that "someone" is you -- I'm praying for you tonight.  You are not forgotten.  May you be ridiculously and extravagantly blessed by the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth...

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. -- Psalm 145:8

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -- Psalm 34:18 

Happiness Is...

I'm putzing around my cozy little apartment, talking to my sister A most of the morning, unpacking Christmas decorations, cleaning the kitchen ... and this song popped into my head!  I couldn't honestly even remember what it was from or where I'd heard it, so I googled (I'm in love with google) and it's from the play You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown!  The neat and nostalgic thing about THAT discovery is that my college theater group put on that show my junior year and they did an AMAZING job.  It brought back a lot of memories, which made an already good day even better :)

Unzip Your Pants!

I'm sitting outside of Starbucks, sipping some deeeelicious coffee and grading some faaaabulous papers (love my students!) and I'm thinking about making wise decisions. 

I would like to be wise.  I love owls.  I love glasses.  I love men who wear sweater vests.  A love of wisdom seems implied.  Haha

In all seriousness, though, a wise Word once said that faith without works -- or for the purposes of my thoughts today -- "knowledge" without action ... is dead. 

So today I celebrate the extremely small step of  realizing what needs to be done ... and then doing it. Since my mom and dad practically drove that expression into the proverbial ground of my childhood, I know they'd be proud to know I'm living it today.  Well, technically, yesterday and today.  Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Oh, and the title?  Well, it's a sister-thing, but suffice it to say -- if your pants are too tight and they're giving you a tummy ache, you gotta unzip.  There's just No Other Option.  In life, sometimes you've gotta suck it up, let go of whatever's holding you too tightly, and do the right thing.  The cool thing is, whether in a real-life-pants-situation or a metaphysical decision-making situation, "unzipping" offers nearly-instant relief.

(for sisters A and G)

... and the world must know how wonderful, how wonderful you are!

My sisters and I sing snippets of our childhood to each other.  Yes, we sing.  Randomly, and without regard for where we are, if we see something that reminds us of our childhood -- BAM.  The singing dorkiness erupts and the laughter follows. 

This morning, while wishing my sister A a fabulous happy birthday, I was reminded of this song.  (Probably because I was singing it to her.)  

Happy Birthday, A.  Share your glory.