"They Keep Saying...

... the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck."

(Laughed out loud in Starbucks when I read this anonymous quote.)

Dreaming of the Seashore...

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.
~e.e. cummings

Last Christmas, my parents bought my sisters and me a week at the beach! We don't go until August, but I can hardly wait.  I wish I could spend every summer at the seashore...

Some of my favorite recent beach memories:

Several years ago, Sister A and I took my niece to the beach for the first time.  She loved it.  Precious little one...

Last summer, my best girl friends and I went to Hilton Head for the weekend -- we had an elaborate set-up on the sand.  In retrospect, we were far too far away from the water, haha, but it was still tons of fun. :)

Time

...is the longest distance between two places. -- Tennessee Williams

Lord, forgive me for wasted hours and days worrying and troubling over things in the past.  Teach me to pass those empty moments to You with a cheerful heart. 

Dr. and Mrs.

[W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

(picture taken by Josh Parks, groomsman extraordinaire)

Congratulations to my godly, wonderful friend and his beautiful new bride.  

Love you, Dr. and Mrs. Bardoner!! :)

People are Crazy. Part One.

You "love" someone.

They dump you.

You're in a relationship with someone else within weeks.

You're marrying the new guy within months.

Perhaps it's time to consider the possibility that you are NOT in love. 

You are just, well, Crazy. 

--------------------------------------------------

I've seen this situation happen a few times in the past year.  And not with young people; I'm watching it happen with thirty-somethings my age (aka, people-you'd-think-would-know-better) and it drives me nuts trying to figure it out.  Here are my desperately-trying-to-make-sense-of-it hypotheses.

1.  They must be in love with some kind of feeling rather than being in love with a person.

A woman who loves a man enough to want to marry him is NOT going to be ready for a new relationship within weeks of being dumped.  Because if she really loved HIM, the relationship ending doesn't change who he is as a person; it just changes his feelings for her. Healing takes time, and if you love the PERSON and not the way the person makes you feel, being dumped doesn't immediately change your heart.  You have to work at disconnecting your heart, and that takes a ton of emotional time and energy.  

If you're in love with the feeling of being in a romantic relationship, however, then you'd be able to move on pretty quickly.  Because, at the risk of sounding callous, any old guy would be able to give you the same feelings.

Loving a person = hard to disconnect. 
Loving a feeling = easy to find another guy who'll give you the same feeling.

2.  They have issues with themselves and think romance is the ultimate self-help.

The pain you feel over a broken heart will not be healed by pretending you're "over it" and quickly moving into another romance.  Sigh.  Distracting your difficult feelings by emotionally submerging them in New Feelings won't be enough to actually heal. You're just postponing working through the pain, all the while engaging someone else in the tangled confusion of your emotional ropes.

Marrying someone who is only a few months out of a serious relationship is another form of crazy, but I haven't even begun to figure out why someone would voluntarily do THAT.  Yikers.  

A good rule of thumb might be this: if people on facebook would be surprised at your quick engagement ("hey, I thought she was dating someone else -- when did she get engaged to THIS guy?") then you might be fulfilling my definition of crazy.

Here's the Difficult Truth, as I see it.

People who aren't crazy are honest with their level of woundedness.  They seek help from friends, pastors, and family to deal with the feelings of rejection and disappointment.  They are cautious for a season, allowing themselves to heal and work through the emotions that come up on a daily basis.

They don't run; they deal.

They are honest -- agonizingly honest -- about their hurt.

They wait.  THEY WAIT. 

Don't be a Crazy.



The Flesh Won

Galatians 5:13-26

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Today I saw this truth firsthand. Sigh. So many years walking with the Lord, and I still have days like today.  When I spoke without thinking, indulged some ugly selfishness and jealousy, and desperately needed His forgiveness and grace.

Walking with Christ is being reminded of my need for Him.  Every. Single. Day.

For Every Stoplight I Didn't Make...

I'm currently sort-of, kind-of, just-a-little-bit in love with country music.  Well, maybe not all of country music -- but I definitely love certain artists and sounds.  I don't know if country music just fits as the natural soundtrack to a Southern summer or whether living below the Mason-Dixon line for seventeen years is finally catching up with me, but sounds like "This" make this girl smile :) 

Darius Rucker's "This"