Many Dark Places

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”  
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring 

“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. 

But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, 

it still grows, perhaps, the greater.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

December 14, 2012

Argh!

Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off. ~Author Unknown

Cookie baking with Faith.
House decorating with Mom.
Shopping with The Sisters.
Lunches downtown with Dad.

Firelight every night.
Family dinners.
Christmas movies.
Kitty time on the back porch.
Books, books, books -- under comfy blankets, while curled on the back porch, with a hot mug of cocoa.
Brothers-in-law making fun of me :)

All things I want to be doing soooo badly, and instead (and until the 18th) I am doing this:

Via Tricia

I've been reading Tricia's blog for two years -- and this post is just worth sharing.  Tricia and I have mutual friends, but we have never met.  She lost her husband unexpectedly two years ago, and I have found her writing to be both moving and beautiful.  This post was just too, too good not to share.  Such truth.

----------------
Joy flows from the discovery of God.
He is in every circumstance where we wish to find him.
The joy comes in finding him,
knowing him,
over and over and over.
-- Tricia Lott Williford

Keep Going

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out. ~Edwin Markham

I have a friend who is learning how to live a life of sobriety.  He is new at it; he's only been out of rehab for a few weeks.  His new life is not easy.  Even a small lapse in judgement can have catastrophic results.  Discouragement is compounded by past mistakes.  There is no escape in sobriety; one must face demons by daylight and fight.  Fight.  Fight.

Sometimes I wish that I could trade places with him for one day so that he could experience a day free of the longing to escape into a drink -- so that he could experience "easy" for one day.  It is not easy for an alcoholic to be sober.  It is possible, after treatment, to make the right choices and to see the pitfalls and to plan for them and to attend the meetings and to ask for help and to keep away from triggers and to take thoughts captive and to and to and to and to...

Possible?  Yes.  

Difficult?  Hell Yes.

One of my church friends has been sober for eighteen years; he has a beautiful wife, amazing kids and a great life.  But, he has told me, there are still days when he wants a drink.  Still.  After eighteen years of sobriety, he is still tempted.  He says recovery is a process.  A long process.  And one is never "fixed" or "cured"; one is always in recovery.

It's Christmas time. Almost December.  I have two interesting, insightful parents.  I have four incredible women who consider me both friend AND sister.  I have two brothers-in-law who love my sisters well.  I have a funny, creative, and endearing niece who thinks I'm "crazy, but in the good way" and another little niece who's joyfully expected to arrive in early February.  I have a job I enjoy.  I am able to pay my bills.  I have students who encourage me professionally.  I am a little bit fat but somehow healthy.  I have a church family that supports and loves me. I have friends who help me laugh and allow me to cry.  I have a warm place to lay my head at night and as much electricity and hot water as I need.  I have a reliable car and the resources to put gas in it.  I have books to read, movies to watch, Christmas trees to enjoy (two of them!) and presents to put under the tree for my family.

It is possible for me to live without alcohol or drugs?  Yes.  

Is it difficult?  Hell no.

And for that realization, I am truly and profoundly thankful.

I need to pray faithfully for those around me who are battling demons and facing Goliath-sized foes, and I need to get some perspective.  Rejoice in my wounds and brokenness and difficulties -- because they are so small, in retrospect.  So, so small.  And God doesn't waste pain; He has been my faithful bridge over every moment of it.   

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara

Praise the bridge that carried you over. ~George Colman

The Hope of the Candied Bits

Sister A and I discovered Starbucks gingerbread loaf slices over the Thanksgiving holiday.  Starbucks garnishes the frosting with bits of candied fruit and the result? Surprisingly delightful.

Today, I ordered a piece of holiday gingerbread and savored each bite... but I saved those candied-fruit-laden-smooth-frosting bites for the end.  I like to believe that life may be like a Starbucks gingerbread loaf -- lots of anticipated goodness, but surprisingly enjoyable "best" moments when you may have already stopped looking for them.  Here's to believing my surprise, look-it's-candied-orange-bits days are still ahead of me.

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson

So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain,where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf... Hebrews 6:16-20a.

Be My Zamboni

If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. ~J.M. Power 

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks. ~Jack Penn 

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854 

2012 has been yucky. Painful and yucky and blech. Heartbreak and heartache and sad endings and deep hurt and painfuldarkplaces. BLECH.  But *he* got married a week ago; The Worst Year is almost over.

Blechy, yucky 2012, I am not sad to see you go.
You crushed my dreams and killed my song.  You have been a beast to overcome.

2013, I welcome you as the Zamboni to my wrecked and icy mess of a heart.
Let's do this new thing.  :)

**I like to make my New Year's appeals a good month before, so that the New Year will be sure to see them. **

Days of Gold

I cannot write of things which even impassioned breath cannot utter. Autumn is coming with its days of gold, its days of reverie and of you—oh, such delightful hours that my heart burns within me at the anticipation. ~Byron Caldwell Smith, letter to Kate Stephens

Honestly I do

My roommate and I are sitting in the living room, watching dvr'd episodes of New Girl and perusing Land's End.  Together.  On our laptops.  As in, sitting side by side and looking at online sweaters.

She points out what she deems to be unwearable, and I tell her how much I love whatever she's pointing to -- honestly, usually I DO -- and we laugh.

Such good times :)

If I had to sum up Friendship in one word, it would be Comfort. ~Terri Guillemets

Regaining Equilibrium

The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium.  ~Norbet Platt

This semester, I am teaching a course called "Nonfiction Prose and Its Process."

Every week, I gather with nine students to discuss a certain author's writing process and works.  So far, I've introduced them to Donald Miller, Frank McCourt, David McCullough, Jon Krakauer, and Dave Eggers.  The students discuss what they like, what "works"and what they admire or find intriguing; we take turns reading passages aloud.  

Teaching Nonfiction Prose and Its Process has been, in a word, idyllic.   

They read.  They discuss.  They connect.  They engage.     

Every week, we meet in the campus coffee shop and they write.  Together, we've decided what the week's focus/motivation/"jumping off point" will be.  We base the focus on the author we're studying -- so sometimes they've written memoir, sometimes spiritual reflection.  They think about when and how they behave as writers.   They think about process. 

They write.   They are honest.  They are vulnerable.  They are intensely personal.  

Their courage challenges and inspires me. 

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.  The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.  ~Sylvia Plath

No, but...

It comes up.

I sort of steel myself for it every semester, as new faces fill the seats and a fresh batch of students are initiated into English 100.

Every fall and spring, they suffer through my corny jokes and big smiles and we write and revise and write and revise and revise and revise again -- and usually, they hate the process but seem to be okay with me...and that's how we learn to be writers, these amazing freshmen and I.

I am fully myself with them because I want them to be fully themselves with me. 

So, it comes up.  The question came this semester during the fifth week. I mentioned something funny that happened to me on a first date, and one of my student athletes stopped chewing her gum and called out "you're not married?" in an incredulous tone which made me love her.

"Nope," I said, wiggling my ring finger at the class.  "See? No ring."

They looked at me, and a few raised their hands to ask more questions, but I blushed and chickened out and distracted them with a corny joke while pretending not to see the hands.  

I wish I had been more honest in my response.  I wish I had said, to these fresh-on-the-cusp-of-life freshmen who are so good to me:

  

Shameful Secrets

I don't exactly know what RSS is, or how one "subscribes" to updates using it.

I'm not precisely sure how to calculate basic entries in an excel spreadsheet... sum total and alphabetizing are all I've got so far.

The green onion has a green part and a white part, and I consider them both to be The Green Onion, but I suspect that I'm mistaken.  Also, are chives just dried up green onion pieces?

Yesterday, I googled the pronunciation for the word "pedagogical" because I'm always a bit confused as to whether it sounds like peda GO gical or peda GOD gical.  Sigh.  I mean, my instincts were correct, but geesh.

The only parts of a car I can name are the lug nuts and the chassis.

I had poptarts for lunch today... and I'm thirty-four years old.

Names That Make the Heart Happy

Hans Zimmer
William Butler Yeats
James Taylor
Nora Ephron
Pablo Neruda
John Williams
e.e. cummings
Jane Austen
Nat King Cole
Louisa May Alcott
J.R.R. Tolkien
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Vince Guaraldi
Alan Silvestri

(thanks to you all)

Answered Prayer; Renewed Hope in His Truth

I wish I had the words to convey how powerfully this essay ministered to my heart this week.

Incredible, thought-provoking, Biblically-centered treatise on singleness and the Christian culture surrounding singleness.

I loved every word.

Grab a cup of coffee and settle in, ya'll.  This is some good stuff:

http://www.critiquebycreating.com/2011/04/the-most-eligible-christian-bachelor/

Six Months Encapsulated...

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father, will you turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me...
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

So many questions without answers, but your promises remain.
I can't sleep, but I'll take my chances to hear you call my name...
To hear You call my name.

One tear in the driving rain, One voice in a sea of pain --
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart? 
One light, that's all I am.
Right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are, won't You come close and hold my heart?

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.



** Songwriters: Mike Donehey, Phillip Larue, Jason Ingram

Tomorrow I Leave for Spain!

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."

  ~Ivy Baker Priest

Tomorrow, I leave for Spain -- but today, I finish cleaning my nearly-empty apartment and take car loads of "extras" to Goodwill.  God has been moving me a lot lately, both symbolically and literally.  When I leave for Spain tomorrow, I am also saying goodbye to an apartment, a whole lot of stuff I didn't need, and an era of my life :)

I'm hoping this next chapter will be even better than the last.

Soli Deo Gloria

hot damn, it's true

Goodbye, no use leading with our chins,
This is where our story ends,
Never lovers; ever friends.
Goodbye, let our hearts call it a day,
 But before you walk away, I sincerely want to say...

I wish you bluebirds in the spring, to give your heart a song to sing,
And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love.
And in July, a lemonade, to cool you in some leafy glade,
I wish you health, and more than wealth, I wish you love.

My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be,
So with my best, my very best, I set you free.

I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,
But, most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.
I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,
Most of all, when snowflakes fall,

hot damn, I wish you love.

(Thank you, Jesus, for your peace. You are so very, very good to me.)

God's Delays, Not God's Denials

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, 

never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.

 ~Flavia Weedn

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.  I don't believe in circumstances.  The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.  

~G.B. Shaw

You learn you can do your best even when it's hard, even when you're tired and maybe hurting a little bit. It feels good to show some courage. ~Joe Namath

Never think that God's delays are God's denials. 

 Hold on; hold fast; hold out.  Patience is genius. 

 ~Georges-Louis Leclerc

Joy Comes in the Morning

Iced coffee.

Clean house.

Grocery shopping sans crowds.

"Singers and Standards" on pandora. 

Peaceful feelings of trust and hope in His future for me.

Blissful Friday.  

"Where hope would otherwise become hopelessness, it becomes faith."  ~Robert Brault

Waiting for the Splendor...

“The basic premise of biblical trust is the conviction that God wants us to grow, to unfold, and to experience fullness of life. However, this kind of trust is acquired only gradually and most often through a series of crises and trials.

Through the indescribable anguish on Mount Moriah with his son Isaac, Abraham learned that the God who had called him to hope against hope was eminently reliable and that the only thing expected of him was unconditional trust. The great old man models the essence of trust in the Hebrew and Christian scriptures: to be convinced of the reliability of God.

The story of salvation-history indicates that without exception trust must be purified in the crucible of trial. David, the most beloved figure of Jewish history, was no stranger to terror, loneliness, failure, and even sinister plots to destroy him; yet he ravished the heart of God with his unwavering trust.

Behold the splendor of the human heart that trusts that it is loved.”

~ Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust

The Friend Who Can...

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. 

 ~Henri Nouwen

Courage

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done 

and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” 

― Maya Angelou

Preach It.

"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
— Bill Maher

The Finest Balm

“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.”

― Jane Austen

After a recent series of rather disheartening love-ish events, my friend J has determined that I need something fun to hold me to the "keep busy and don't look back" path. So, she has suggested that I use my Pinterest account to help her stock images and ideas for her lifelong dream of a farm wedding.

She is actually dating someone, but he does not know that we are doing this little project. There are two very good reasons for his ignorance:

1) This is really a gift to me :)

and

2) Men don't need to know that "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." — Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

It's been fun.  So far, I have found pictures of rice crispy wedding cakes, dandelion invitations and periwinkle flower bouquets.  If you're interested in seeing the initial collection, here is the link to our board:
http://pinterest.com/rosina/jigs-jigs-jigs/

I'd publish the pics here, but that would sort of undo the whole point of pinterest ;)

I Love This.

“Falling in love in a Christian way is to say, 'I am excited about your future and I want to be part of getting you there. I'm signing up for the journey with you. Would you sign up for the journey to my true self with me? It's going to be hard but I want to get there.”
― Timothy Keller

Answer: Trust Him and Jump

“Your daddy is standing in a swimming pool out a little bit from the edge. You are, let’s say, three years old and standing on the edge of the pool. Daddy holds out his arms to you and says, “Jump, I’ll catch you. I promise.” Now, how do you make your daddy look good at that moment? Answer: trust him and jump. Have faith in him and jump. That makes him look strong and wise and loving. But if you won’t jump, if you shake your head and run away from the edge, you make your daddy look bad. It looks like you are saying, “he can’t catch me” or “he won’t catch me” or “it’s not a good idea to do what he tells me to do.” And all three of those make your dad look bad.

But you don’t want to make God look bad. So you trust him. Then you make him look good–which he really is. And that is what we mean when we say, “Faith glorifies God” or “Faith gives God glory.” It makes him look as good as he really is. So trusting God is really important.

And the harder it seems for him to fulfill his promise, the better he looks when you trust him. Suppose that you are at the deep end of a pool by the diving board. You are four years old and can’t swim, and your daddy is at the other end of the pool. Suddenly a big, mean dog crawls under the fence and shows his teeth and growls at you and starts coming toward you to bite you. You crawl up on the diving board and walk toward the end to get away from him. The dog puts his front paws up on the diving board. Just then, your daddy sees what’s happening and calls out, “Johnny, jump in the water. I’ll get you.”

Now, you have never jumped from one meter high and you can’t swim and your daddy is not underneath you and this water is way over your head. How do you make your daddy look good in that moment? You jump. And almost as soon as you hit the water, you feel his hands under your arms and he treads water holding you safely while someone chases the dog away. Then he takes you to the side of the pool.

We give glory to God when we trust him to do what he has promised to do–especially when all human possibilities are exhausted. Faith glorifies God. That is why God planned for faith to be the way we are justified.”
― John Piper

Her Face Came Alive

You see, I'd never stopped to wonder why it was that millions of boys all over creation weren't seeing her and instantly falling in love with her, worshipping her body and mind and soul and spirit as I did. It never occurred to me until this precise moment that maybe lots of boys wouldn't have thought she was gorgeous. Maybe she only seemed so gorgeous to me because - and this is the shocker - her face came alive when I walked in front of it. ~Author Unknown

Whose Pulse May Be Thy Praise

Thou hast given so much to me,

Give one thing more, - a grateful heart;
Not thankful when it pleaseth me,
As if Thy blessings had spare days,
But such a heart whose pulse may be Thy praise.
~George Herbert

Oh, To Be a Heavy Ship...

"I hope that from our youth we have known the necessity of dependence upon God, but I am certain that dependence is a growing feeling. Growing Christians think themselves nothing; full-grown Christians think themselves less than nothing. Good men are like ships; the fuller they are, the lower they sink in the stream. The more grace a man has, the more he complains of his want of grace. Grace is not a kind of food which creates a sense of fullness. . . the more you receive the more you long for."

~ Charles Spurgeon, "The Old Man's Sermon"

She Awakens (ie: goodbye mononucleosis!)

A month of my life.
Innumerable hours of sleep.
Two ENTIRE television series watched:  Downton Abbey. 30 Rock.
Fuzzy pajamas worn daily.


Thank you, Lord, for times of rest and moments of quiet.
One again, You are faithful.  Thank you.

To Sleep

And if tonight my soul may find her peace
in sleep, and sink in good oblivion,
and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower
then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.
~D.H. Lawrence

Now, blessings light on him that first invented sleep! It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak; it is meat for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, heat for the cold, and cold for the hot. It is the current coin that purchases all the pleasures of the world cheap, and the balance that sets the king and the shepherd, the fool and the wise man, even. ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote

Fatigue is the best pillow. ~Benjamin Franklin

There is a drowsy state, between sleeping and waking, when you dream more in five minutes with your eyes half open, and yourself half conscious of everything that is passing around you, than you would in five nights with your eyes fast closed and your senses wrapt in perfect unconsciousness. ~Charles Dickens

** If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

 ~Author unknown, attributed to Jim Davis **

B's Gift to Me

Sister B sent me this link today.  She said she heard it and thought of me :)  I'd never heard this poem by James Agee, but I loved it instantly.  Please enjoy B's gift to me...

Sure On This Shining Night
Sure on this shining night
Of star made shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.
The late year lies down the north.
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.
Hearts all whole.
Sure on this shining night I weep for wonder wand'ring far alone
Of shadows on the stars.
-- James Agee

Like a Sweet Sunset in Georgia, Let it Go...

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.  ~Oscar Wilde

"You keep your heart above your head and your eyes wide open
So this world can't find a way to leave you cold
And know you're not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can't...
You gotta let it go.
Like a sweet sunset in Georgia, let it go.
Like the fear that grabs ahold ya, let it go.
Let it go." -- Zac Brown Band

-----------------------------------------------------
I Timothy 6:6-8, 11
But godliness with contentment is great gain.
For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.
But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 
But you, man of God [...] pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
-------------------------------------------------------

Mononucleosis

I am thirty-three years old, and yesterday I was diagnosed with The Kissing Disease of college students.  Sigh.  It is going to be a rough two weeks to six months.  Pray for me, please :)

Southern Ladies

There is a group of ladies who have taken over my favorite little Starbucks.

For the second time this week, they were here when I arrived.  Taking up an entire side of the small coffee shop, they laugh loudly, exchange gasps of purse-admiration and offer delight in each others' earrrings or "cute workout skirt" or new reeboks.  Apparently, fitness has brought them together; they vary in age but all are dressed for exercise.  The young women wear contemporary workout gear, and the older ladies supplement their ensembles with beautiful pearl earrings and bright necklaces.  Despite being in workout gear, all hair styles are perfectly coiffed and all have what I presume are considered "sassy" purses sitting prettily beside their crossed legs.  The laughter from this group is loud and continuous, although the ladies exchange stories while keeping their hands busy -- cross-stitch, coffee, and the clackity-clack of knitting needles.

Adidas.  Pearls.  Black yoga pants.  Snakeskin.  Shabby cotton.  Shiny gold.

I watch them over my raspberry latte and I think,

"This is how Southern ladies do Starbucks."

 And I'm lovin' it.

One Pair of Eyes

The Luckiest

-- Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time

In fact, I am told that a lot

Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls

Brought me here

And where was I before the day

That I first saw your lovely face?

Now I see it everyday

And I know

That I am

The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you

In a house on a street where you lived?

Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike

Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes

I see one pair that I recognize

And I know

That I am

The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties

And one day passed away in his sleep

And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days

And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong

That I know

That I am

The luckiest

Looks Yummy

I don't usually post recipes, but I just found this one on pinterest and it looks easy and yummy.  I'm not sure about the blue cheese part, because I'm not a huge blue cheese-er; I might try feta instead.

Enjoy :)

http://www.tasteandtellblog.com/2012/01/buffalo-chicken-pizza-rolls/

"The Dark Lord" Gets It Right.

#undernocircumstances shud sum1 feel its ok 2 tlk lik this. You have 140 characters. Use them and stop typing like you're illiterate.  ~@Lord_Voldemort7



-------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS.  Mom, don't take this personally.  You can do no wrong with me :)

In Love with Sunshine

I am in love with sunshine.
In cold weather, in warm weather, with daffodils or slowly falling leaves... sunshine makes every season beautiful.

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine.

Anne Bronte

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Steve Martin

Pretty Little Lies

The other night, I was doing the dishes and found myself singing this song from Pinocchio -- do you remember it?  So pretty and so sweet... and so full of ridiculousness. Here are the oh-so-pretty lyrics, for your grown-up cynical enjoyment.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you...


If your heart is in your dreams
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
 As dreamers do...


Fate is kind;
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of 
Their secret longing...


Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true.


Oh, Jiminy Cricket.  You told us such pretty little lies.  :)

And because I can't help myself, here is the great Louis Armstrong singing "When You Wish Upon a Star."  Because although the idea of wishing something into existence might be ludicrous, the beauty and magic of childhood dreams are not.  I hope 2012 is a year when many, many of your dreams come true :)

Shoppy McShopperson

Today, I convinced sister G to come with me to do fun shopping errands.  This was our afternoon:

Brown boots.  50% off.
Auntie Anne's pretzel.  Delish.
New workout pants.  On sale. (choosing not to include a link to non-exciting workout pants)
Lipliner that doesn't make me look like death?  Priceless ;)

Sister time and good deals and checking things off of my "need to take the time to buy" list = good afternoon.

The Secret Life

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. -- Luke 2:19

I'm not a very private person. Much of my life has been spent sharing -- even the random minutiae of my day get shared sometimes because of places like facebook and, well, this blog.  People don't usually spend much time wondering what I'm thinking.  But very lately, I've been encouraged by the way that God is answering some very specific prayers in ways I didn't foresee -- and I'm keeping it to myself.  Weeeell, if blogging about God's faithfulness in prayer is keeping it to myself.  Haha.

I like to think that I'm a rational, intelligent human being who can be decently persuasive when she wants to be; but God is showing me that change in people's hearts is not really not about me being persuasive... it's about Him.  So I'm bringing people to the Lord in prayer and I'm asking Him to show me how to pray for them.

He's doing things I couldn't have foreseen and it's growing my faith immensely.


Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. -- John 6:68


Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -- Psalm 73:25-6

New Pillows

Last night, I was at Walmart buying something.  I can't remember what it was, now.  Oh! Diet Coke.  I was buying a lot of diet coke. (I forgot the limes, though, and that's my favorite part to diet coke at home -- the fresh squeezed lime. But now I'm really rabbit-trailing from the post's purpose.  Apologies.)

So I was at Walmart and I saw pillows on sale.  And by "sale," I mean super-ridiculously cheap pillows on sale for something like $3.48 each.  And I realized in front of the display that I honestly could NOT remember the last time I purchased pillows -- AND -- that the pillows on my bed resembled pancakes, while these cheap-ola pillows looked like piles of fluffy down... So, I bought two.  It cost me almost seven bucks.

I came home.

I pillow-cased them and put them on my bed.

I went to sleep, eventually.

SEVEN HOURS LATER, I woke up and realized I slept through the night.  No tossing and turning.  No bathroom visits.  Just Me, my new cheap pillows and my old expensive blankets.

So, I am completely crushing on my new cheap pillows.  They are Huge and they are Perfect for Side Sleepers and they are Quality Assured.

Apparently, they are also full of integrity.  Because they were exactly who they said they'd be :)  And don't we all want a crush like that?

Yes

Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; your purpose when you are confused. -- Christina Whitehouse-Suggs